I awoke on day 3 of my painting feeling somewhat frustrated, I haven’t tapped into expressing the inner movement that I feel. Being at my easel yesterday painting bursts of movement was a start, it clearly isn’t the finish. In my awareness I sense the familiar road of needing to know as opposed to acting to find out.
My need to know creates paralysis, enlivens vanity and uses force. It is inimical to what I am attempting to express. Acting to find out allows for spontaneity, exploration and surrender. Acting to find out also engages the creative imagination. This is a beautiful practice. It doesn’t matter that I do not have the answer or the result I am looking for, what matters is that I am a participant.
What I do know is that I feel the longing to express this inner movement, I can feel into the finished piece; it is expansive, full and vibrant. So I begin to explore another way of expressing this movement. I create an open space around the easel and I dance allowing my brush or trowel to move across the canvas as I paint. This is fun. I enjoy moving my body and allowing my brush and trowel to be an extension of the movement. I am working with acrylic paints and acrylic glazing by Golden. In this dance I am adding layer upon layer, creating a skin over the bursts of lines I painted on day 2. Organic movement is transpiring. Towards the end of day 4 red was yearning to be expressed, the beginning of a pulse. I end here today; it is several more days before I pick up the paint again. I go into my studio during this time and just sit with the journey. I turn the canvas in all directions,looking at it, being drawn into it, and allowing It’s expression to percolate within.